Simon Shocker

23 July 2008

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Longtime Chinatown Soccer Club and Krauts midfield maestro Hosi Simon has agreed a shock transfer to local rivals FC Vice on the eve of the annual Fanatic tournament, according to sources close to the negotiations.

The news presents a bitter blow to the Krauts, a squad that formed back in 2003 to compete in the Adidas-organized event and is made up primarily of the German-speaking contingent of the CSC.

“While we are sad to see Hosi [Simon] go after so many great years with the Krauts, we actually believe this is a good deal for the club, and we think that our recent captures in the transfer market will more than make up for this surprise loss,” Coach Stochl, like Simon a founding member of the Krauts, said.

In an evidently related development, it emerged today that the Krauts have reportedly signed center forward Zach “Kormega” Korman who impressed pundits with his goal-scoring exploits during the CSC’s trip to Austria this summer.

There are also persistent rumors that Coach Stochl has made an approach for feisty defender Zien “Klaus” Li to strengthen the team’s spine.

Meanwhile, Simon’s future has been the source of intense media speculation in recent weeks, with several observers convinced that the aging midfielder was long looking to secure a transfer to a lower-tier club in Brooklyn’s hip Williamsburg neighborhood to see out his career.

Coach Stochl categorically refused to discuss the possible motivation behind Simon’s transfer and instead paid tribute to defenders Florian “Red Alert” Peter and David “The German Bulldog” Wiesner.

“Peter and Wiesner have been with the Krauts since the beginning and will definitely end their careers here, in today’s football, loyalty like that is hard to find,” Stochl said.

The Krauts were beaten finalists in the 2003 Fanatic tournament (Simon is seen second from the right).

A youthful looking Simon kept his eye on the ball before signing with the Krauts in 2002.