Sutherland Signs Schnaps Deal

8 July 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — In a move sure to raise eyebrows among the more health-conscious supporters of the Chinatown Soccer Club, defender Peter “The Beard” Sutherland has signed a lucrative deal to endorse an obscure Austrian alcoholic beverage known as Zirbengeist, the Newswire has learned.

Clear, colorless and with a distinct flavor derived by distilling pine cones, Zirbengeist is a favorite among rugged outdoorsmen which made the burly and bearded Sutherland a perfect pitchman, according to a company press release obtained by the Newswire.

The hard-nosed center back apparently picked up his new sponsor during the club’s Austrian tour last summer and is said to be delighted with the stylized version of his likeness used on the beverage’s label (see below).

It was impossible to confirm rumors that Sutherland is now contractually obligated to indulge in some Zirbengeist prior to practice but a club spokesperson tried to diffuse the brewing storm by declaring that “foreign sponsorship deals are solely the concern of the player.”

The Zirbengeist label features a stylized version of Sutherland hiking through the Austrian countryside.

Sutherland at the famous Wolfgangsee in Austria last summer.