Rentz Joins Elder Statesmen

10 June 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Left back Peter Rentz made it a trio of Chinatown Soccer Club defenders to defy commonly held age concerns after turning 40 today, the Newswire has learned.

Joining elder statesmen Marco “The Berlin Wall” Spier and Liverpudlian Duncan Hamilton in successfully prolonging his career past what was once considered an almost mandatory retirement age in the football world, Rentz will continue to play an important part in the club’s experienced back line, a CSC spokesperson said.

“Guys like [Marco] Spier, [Duncan] Hamilton and now [Peter] Rentz can still perform at the highest level and are crucial in helping us develop young players like [Dom "The Dominator"] Neitz and [Dan "The Danimal"] Funderburgh who still need to develop a similar sense of composure and ability to read the game,” Coach Stochl said.

Rentz concurred, adding that CSC legend Kang remains “living proof that playing well past my 50th birthday remains a distinct possibility.”

Rentz fittingly wore an AC Milan jersey at this morning’s practice session in Chinatown.

The seemingly ageless Kang is still an integral part of the club’s first team.

Race to Montauk

8 June 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Chinatown Soccer Club staples Dom “The Dominator” Neitz and Dan “The Danimal” Funderburgh made it a one-two finish at the 100-mile bike race from New York to Montauk on Saturday, the club confirmed today.

“We released the boys from training this weekend so that they could compete in the event and they did the club proud,” Coach Stochl said.

Despite another foray into the bike world, the Austrian was adamant that his club has no plans to produce any related merchandise, firmly squashing related Internet rumors.

“We [the Chinatown Soccer Club] enjoy activities such as snowboarding, skateboarding and yes, the occasional bike ride but remain firmly focused on and committed to soccer,” Stochl said.

Neitz and Funderburgh pose in front of the breakers at the tip of Long Island.

Velosophie

5 June 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Coach Stochl was recently invited to contribute a series of portraits featuring Chinatown Soccer Club players and their favorite bikes to a free publication promoting bicycle culture and alternative modes of transportation in his native Austria, the Newswire has learned (see below).

With many of the club’s members completing their morning commutes to and from the Stanton Street pitch on bikes, hope remains that New York will follow the lead of other major cities in adding designated bicycle lanes and generally encouraging a move away from the automobile.

Semi-retired goalkeeper Gerald “El Gato” Ding.

Versatile powerhouse Dan “The Danimal” Funderburgh.

Defensive midfielder Dom “The Dominator” Neitz.

Flair player Kevin “Keveronesi” Trageser.

Hard-nosed defender Peter “The Beard” Sutherland.

Winger Joel Barnard.

Retired Brazilian forward Daniel Piwowarczyk.

Big Birthday

3 June 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Legendary skateboarder and occasional soccer enthusiast Mark Gonzales celebrated his 40th birthday on Monday, the Newswire has learned.

“Mark’s patented wild-man style is popular with the fans and we hope to welcome him back to the pitch soon,” a Chinatown Soccer Club spokesperson said.

Gonzales made sure his CSC scarf was clearly visible in the background while shooting a video feature for one of his sponsors (see below).

Sisk and Sutherland Return

1 June 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — The Chinatown Soccer Club was boosted yesterday by the double return of goalkeeper Mike Sisk and Peter “The Beard” Sutherland after lengthy injury layoffs.

Sisk, who endured several months’ worth of grueling sessions with members of the club’s medical department to build up his fitness following knee surgery, looked solid between the posts and made a number of impressive saves.

Meanwhile, the elusive Sutherland who had labored with a variety of knocks and general fatigue, returned with a spring in his step from sunny Los Angeles to add some much needed experience to the CSC’s rearguard.

“The return of these two seasoned campaigners could not have come at a better time and will strengthen the squad during what traditionally is the busiest time of the year for the club,” a clearly delighted Coach Stochl said.

Sutherland and Sisk welcomed each other back to the Stanton Street pitch on Sunday morning.

Many of the club’s stars turned out for an intense three-hour practice session.

Strikers Jakob Daschek and Zach “Kormega” Korman fine-tune their attacking partnership during a break in the action.

Lenny “The Ninja” Mendez gets some help with patching up a gash on his knee from Denise “The Iron Jaw” Vasel.

Tielsch Reps the CSC

29 May 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Only days after Austrian artist Christian Tanzer was spotted in Chinatown Soccer Club garments at an exhibition in Italy, German Shut Skates team rider Oli Tielsch has been captured rocking the club’s shirt while stomping tricks in New York City (see below).

Despite multiple requests by the Newswire, a CSC spokesperson refused to comment on rumors about Tielsch joining the club for an early morning training session next week.

Tielsch glides through a Switch Pop Shove-It Nosegrind.

The German ace shows off a rare first-generation CSC shirt.

Tielsch’s was prominently featured in a European skateboard video production back in 2006.

European Champions

28 May 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — The echo of Barcelona’s victory over Manchester United in yesterday’s Champions League final reverberated around the Chinatown Soccer Club’s Stanton Street training ground earlier this morning, the Newswire has learned.

While Spanish powerhouse Rafa “The Rafweiler” Herrin-Ferri celebrated Barca’s performance, Coach Stochl was notably less enthused about how his beloved Reds had fared (see below).

Rome

27 May 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — With an epic Champions League final between Manchester United and Barcelona only hours away, the Newswire once again gained access to Coach Stochl’s archive to provide a few exclusive photos of the two opposing teams.

Sir Alex delivers a team talk during United’s visit to the States in 2004.

Gary Neville leads the rest of the squads around Giants Stadium during open practice.

Rio Ferdinand pleases the American fans with his immaculate touch during a training match.

Samuel Eto’o shows off his skills during Barcelona’s visit to Manhattan’s West Side last year.

Mexican powerhouse Rafa Márquez misses tonight’s match due to injury.

Former Manchester United defender Gerard Piqué will line up against his old team for Barcelona in Rome.

Viennese Style

26 May 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Austrian Chinatown Soccer Club enthusiast Christian Tanzer was recently spotted representing the club’s colors (see below) while setting up an installation of his artwork in Bolzano, Italy, the Newswire has learned.

A well-connected operator in Vienna, Tanzer was instrumental in making the CSC’s trip to the Austrian capital during the recent European Championships a success and has longstanding ties with Coach Stochl.

Tanzer’s work was reportedly part of an international art fair in the Italian city and while rumors about a possible collaboration with the CSC have repeatedly surfaced on the internet, both the Austrian maestro and the club from New York refused to comment.

Los Angeles Recap

24 May 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Today’s holiday weekend edition of the Newswire presents an exclusive look at Chinatown Soccer Club defender Peter Sutherland’s recent show in Los Angeles.

In addition to the photos below, Sutherland also supplied a narrated video tour of his installation.

In a carefully worded statement, Sutherland vigorously denied rumors that he was seeking a permanent transfer to the West Coast and assured CSC fans of his return to action at the club’s Stanton Street home “before the end of the month.”