Winter Vacation

3 January 2010

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — The Newswire’s staff is currently enjoying a well-deserved break but will return with its patented mix of breaking news, features and commentary later this week.

Snowstorm Training Session

23 December 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Keeping with a proud tradition of eagerly employing new training techniques, Coach Stochl used the season’s first major snowstorm to have a duo of his star players work on their penalty skills on Saturday night, the Newswire has learned.

While most New Yorkers were seeking shelter from the heavy snowfall, Justin “Crazy Legs” Fines and Dan “The Danimal” Funderburgh took turns hammering the ball against a makeshift goal on a deserted East Broadway.

“It was a great opportunity to have the boys work on taking penalty kicks under truly adverse conditions,” Stochl said.

Fines and Funderburgh posed for a snapshot during the intense snowfall.

Both players put their best foot forward under the watchful eye of their Austrian manager.

Messenie Injury Update

17 December 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Prolific forward Mike Messenie underwent successful ankle surgery earlier today, the Newswire has learned.

The Chinatown Soccer Club’s veteran striker suffered a broken fibula during Saturday’s practice session and the injury is reportedly similar to the one that kept French international Samir Nasri out of action for around three months.

Messenie gave the thumbs up at the hospital on Thursday.

Messenie Injury Blow

12 December 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — The Chinatown Soccer Club suffered a major setback earlier today when veteran forward Mike Messenie had to be stretchered off the pitch with what could turn out to be a serious ankle injury, the Newswire has learned.

“Losing a player of Mike’s caliber and experience is a a serious kick in the teeth,” Coach Stochl said shortly after Messenie went down during the CSC’s customary Saturday morning training session.

“He’s [Messenie] is an extremely popular player with the fans and a big character in the dressing room,” Stochl said.

“All we can do at this point is send the boy in for a scan on Monday and keep our fingers crossed that he’ll only be out for a few weeks rather than months,” the Austrian said.

Messenie held his head in disbelief minutes after his unfortunate injury.

A collection of jackets and sweatshirts kept the striker warm on a chilly December morning.

The CSC squad made sure the California-born player was well attended to.

A phalanx of Messenie’s teammates ultimately carried the forward to his car.

Despite grimacing in pain, Messenie gave a thumbs up before winger Joel Barnard drove him back home to Brooklyn.

Ornaments

11 December 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Chinatown Soccer Club Supporters Club Chairman David Mashburn recently hosted a holiday-themed Ornament Making Party at his Chinatown loft that was attended by several high-profile CSC players and staff, the Newswire has learned.

“At this club we have always put a big emphasis on nurturing the positive relationship with our fans and we’re happy to support an event like this which helps bring the players and their supporters closer together,” Coach Stochl said.

Perhaps as a result of the festive occasion, thoughts were with CSC Supporters Club Vice Chairman James O’Brien who is currently recovering from Pancreatitis at Woodhull Hospital in Brooklyn.

“It was a great evening with friends and family, the only thing missing was James so fingers crossed he can make the second installment [of the Ornament Making Party] next week,” CSC defensive stalwart Peter “The Beard” Sutherland said.

Attendants worked hard on their ornaments.

Coach Stochl suffered a creative crisis during the making of his piece.

A Slayer sign made out of popsicle sticks topped Mashburn’s Christmas tree.

The host meticulously reconstructed his childhood tree house.

Andrew “The Midfield General” Sutherland’s contribution anticipated the upcoming snowboard season.

A close-up view of the impressive array of handmade ornaments.

CSC winger Kevin “Keveronesi” Trageser has reportedly asked for a leave of absence from training this weekend to finish his extremely intricate piece for Mashburn’s Christmas tree.

Skycam

8 December 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Always quick to adopt cutting-edge technology, the Chinatown Soccer Club recently installed a state-of-the-art Skycam system at its Stanton Street ground, the Newswire has learned.

“The new [Skycam] system will help the coaching staff analyze individual performances and fine-tune our practice sessions,” a club spokesperson said.

The Saturday morning session saw a good turnout, despite frigid temperatures and the impending first winter storm of the season.

Peter “The Beard” Sutherland showed some beautiful skill on the ball before the usually clinical Owen Katz narrowly missed at the near post.

Cyrus Chan put a typically powerful shot over the bar after a suicidal clearance by stand-in keeper Wyeth Hansen.

Hansen made up for his earlier error when he reacted brilliantly to a header by Lenny “The Ninja” Mendez.

Coach Stochl was reportedly not amused when a pair of immature members of his squad started taking potshots at the new Skycam system.

O’Brien Recovering

7 December 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Chinatown Soccer Club Supporters Club Vice Chairman James O’Brien was rushed to Woodhull Hospital in Brooklyn on Saturday after complaining of severe stomach pain, the Newswire has learned.

With an initial diagnosis of Pancreatitis, O’Brien was immediately hooked up to an IV and given medication to reduce the inflammation but is already “doing much better” and expected to be moved out of intensive care by tomorrow, according to CSC Supporters Club Chairman David Mashburn.

“Everyone here at the club wishes James [O'Brien] well,” Coach Stochl said.

“I’ve witnessed that guy [O'Brien] take out a small forrest snowboarding in the Utah backcountry without suffering any permanent damage so I’m pretty sure this unfortunate episode won’t keep him down for much longer,” the Austrian said.

O’Brien gave the thumbs up during Mashburn’s visit to Woodhull Hospital earlier today.

World Cup Draw

6 December 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Manhattan’s premier football pub Nevada Smiths was the venue for a party celebrating the eagerly-anticipated draw for next year’s World Cup in South Africa on Friday, the Newswire has learned.

As expected, a capacity crowd of rowdy soccer fanatics cheered the announcement of numerous mouthwatering ties during ESPN’s live coverage of the event.

“I think the draw has definitely ignited some World Cup fever and it’ll be hard to wait until June of next year for these matches to kick off,” the Chinatown Soccer Club’s Coach Stochl said outside the popular East Village watering hole.

The football-inspired heavy-metal outfit Group of Death performed at Nevada Smiths following the draw.

ESPN broadcast several live shots from inside the bar.

Fans of the United States react to Slovenia being drawn into their team’s group.

Fittingly, the World Cup trophy already found a home behind the bar at Nevada Smiths.

CNN’s Richard Roth was on hand to interview some of the locals.

Roth eventually filed a reaction piece for his network.

Heart to Heart

30 November 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Chinatown Soccer Club misfits Dan “The Danimal” Funderburgh and Dom “The Dominator” Neitz were reportedly summoned to Coach Stochl’s home over the weekend for what a source close the Austrian manager described as “long overdue clear-the-air talks,” the Newswire has learned.

Both players were in hot water with Stochl after it emerged that a private retreat at a remote cabin in upstate New York earlier this month degenerated into a weekend-long party.

However, the screening of the hotly anticipated first Gran Clásico of the season at Stochl’s Chinatown apartment provided the perfect backdrop for an open and honest discussion between the CSC’s manager and two of his key performers.

“What was said on Sunday will remain private but there should be no doubt that Funderburgh and Neitz now fully understand the responsibilities that come with being a Chinatown Soccer Club player,” a club spokesperson said.

Neitz and Funderburgh kept a close eye on a riveting match between Barcelona and Real Madrid.

Stochl’s famously well-stocked bar helped ease the tension before the manager sat down with his players.

White House

29 November 2009

New York (Chinatown Newswire) — Award-winning chef and occasional Chinatown Soccer Club guest player Marcus Samuelsson was enlisted to prepare President Barack Obama’s first state dinner at the White House last week, the Newswire has learned.

“The right kind of diet is a big part of any footballer’s life so we applaud what Marcus has achieved,” Coach Stochl said.

Samuelsson in action at the CSC’s Stanton Street ground.